TF2 – Spy

SpyOfficial Imperial Power Rankings™:

OPERATOR Rating: star_onstar_onstar_onstar_onstar_off

Skill Rating: star_onstar_onstar_onstar_onstar_off

Frag rating: star_onstar_onstar_onstar_offstar_off

Sanic Rating: star_onstar_onstar_onstar_offstar_off

Detailed Results:

The Spy (Imperialish: Sneakyman, Frog, French Piece of Shit, Darkman, or Spion) is one of the nine playable classes in Team Fortress 2. Designed to be an OPERATOR class from the ground-up, the Spy possesses the most NATO weapons in Team Fortress 2, with the Not-Dying Machine in particular being the best single tool for antics. Despite the fact that many Good Company Imperials are masters of the class, most of them have since hung up their knives in favour of more skillful classes which actually have a future in Team Fortress 2.

The problem lies in the fact that the Spy manipulates the mistakes and ignorance of his opponents in order to score frags. Understandably, against better players, the Spy’s role becomes increasingly harder and harder. Upon facing a half-decent player at best, the Spy’s frags will almost entirely consist of either facestabs or headshots. Certain Spy players cannot cope with this fact, and continue to pour hours and hours into a mechanically dead-end class in hopes of being “the best”. The brain-dead following of the Spy can be likened to similar morons that worship the Pyro, with a similar caliber of unlockable weapons.

The Spy is also notable for being the only class besides the Sniper with the ability to snip dicks, giving him at least some semblance of worth against decent players. In fact, most Imperial spies often end up with more headshots than backstabs, as it is a more reliable tactic than putting yourself in direct danger for an opportunity to get a kill. Just as the Spy is defeated by any intelligent, sentient being, he can also be unintentionally outwitted by supreme ineptitude.

TF2 – Sniper

SniperOfficial Imperial Power Rankings™:

OPERATOR Rating: star_onstar_onstar_onstar_onstar_on

Skill Rating: star_onstar_onstar_onstar_onstar_on

Frag rating: star_onstar_onstar_onstar_onstar_on

Sanic Rating: star_onstar_offstar_offstar_offstar_off

Detailed Results:

The Sniper (Imperialish: Dick Snipper, Snipper, or Australian) is one of the nine playable classes in Team Fortress 2. Possessing one of the most clutch and OPERATOR weapons in the game, the Sniper is one of the two classes in the game with a weapon that can snip dicks, the other being the Spy. This makes him particularly NATO, and a common choice for the aspiring Imperial marksman.

Despite having a near infinite skill ceiling, certain Snipers can also be incredibly irritating by performing a fully-charged bodyshot on targets that they do not have enough skill to defeat. This problem is compounded by the fact that most of his unlockable primary weapons serve as a crutch for bad players instead of rewarding those that are good with the class.

TF2 – Medic

Medic_(1)Official Imperial Power Rankings™:

OPERATOR Rating: star_onstar_onstar_onstar_onstar_off

Skill Rating: star_onstar_onstar_onstar_offstar_off

Frag rating: star_onstar_offstar_offstar_offstar_off

Sanic Rating: star_onstar_onstar_offstar_offstar_off

Detailed Results:

The Medic (Imperialish: Mecic [me-kick] or [me-chich], originating from an early font bug) is one of the nine playable classes in Team Fortress 2. The main support class of Team Fortress 2, the Medic is the single most important player on the team, and his German-engineered übercharge capability makes him particularly OPERATOR for a class whose main job involves following and healing other players. Surprisingly, the Medic is able to amass quite a few sanics (sanic) due to the fact that he is the second fastest class in the game.

The Medic’s unlockable weapons consist of various products of Nazi Super-Science, ranging from terrible (Vita-Saw) to incredible (Kritzkreig). The Medic is also arguably one of the most well-dressed characters in Team Fortress 2, sporting a wide variety of fashionable clothing while minimizing on the amount of eye-sores.

TF2 – Engineer

EngineerOfficial Imperial Power Rankings™:

OPERATOR Rating: star_onstar_onstar_onstar_offstar_off

Skill Rating: star_onstar_offstar_offstar_offstar_off

Frag rating: star_onstar_onstar_onstar_offstar_off

Sanic Rating: star_offstar_offstar_offstar_offstar_off

Detailed Results:

The Engineer (Imperialish: Engiqueer, Engayneer, or Engayqueer) is one of the nine playable classes in Team Fortress 2. Widely believed to be the biggest snoozefest of the nine classes, playing the Engineer class consists of building and maintaining a Sentry Gun that shoots bullets and rockets with perfect accuracy, removing the entirety of the aiming, moving and, well, playing portion of Team Fortress 2. The Engineer can also build teleporters and dispensers, both of which are usually built only to benefit the Engineer himself instead of his team.

The Sentry Guns, including everything from a fully upgraded Level 3 Sentry Gun to a Mini-Sentry, built by the Engineer are, at best, annoying. They will score one or two surprise kills at best and then proceed to be anally devastated by the onslaught of enraged victims. However, because of the nature of public servers in Team Fortress 2, Sentry Guns often shut down a public match and bring the game to a screeching halt.

Like its Russian counterpart, the Heavy, Engineers are rarely seen in competitive play due to their sheer shittiness as a viable class in a skilled environment. Engineers may be able to get away with one or two frags on a damaged Scout, but will rarely turn the tide like any other class could.

Despite these overwhelming flaws and inability to be OPERATOR, Good Company has managed to extract real, legitimate fun out of the antics which employ the Engineer. Due to his large arsenal of unique and imaginative weapons (i.e the Rescue Ranger, the Widowmaker, the Wrangler, the Short Circuit, and the Eureka Effect to name a few) among a few duds (the use of the Gunslinger, for instance, is banned in the Empire due to promoting thoughtless and unsportsmanlike play), a squad of OPERATOR Engineers working together have the capacity to summon a shitstorm of truly biblical proportions. The Engineer can be a very fun and engaging class that rewards smart play, tactical awareness, good positioning, and aim when put in the right OPERATOR hands. However, if there were to be one class that could be removed entirely from the game for the benefit of gameplay, it would be the Engineer.

TF2 – Heavy

HeavyOfficial Imperial Power Rankings™:

OPERATOR Rating: star_offstar_offstar_offstar_offstar_off

Skill Rating: star_offstar_offstar_offstar_offstar_off

Frag rating: star_onstar_onstar_onstar_onstar_off

Sanic Rating: star_offstar_offstar_offstar_offstar_off

Detailed Results:

The Heavy (Imperialish: Hoovy, Fat Fuck, or Fat Piece of Shit) is one of the nine playable classes in Team Fortress 2. The Heavy is notable for being regarded as the absolute worst class in the game among the Team Fortress 2 community, having the lowest skill ceiling of any class in the game. Whereas similar frag-oriented classes like Soldier and Scout require an acute game-sense as well as excellent DM skills, the Heavy requires neither of these. In fact, a player with terrible game-sense will actually do better with the class, due to the overextending and poor commitment decisions that will result in a martyr frag on a skilled opponent.

The Heavy is often played by poor players who want to gain as many frags as possible against opponents in a public game. This is because playing Heavy in an actual competitive Team Fortress 2 match will lead to a severe case of buttfrustration, and it is doubtful whether even the best Heavy in the game, if the combination of ‘best’ and ‘Heavy’ can even exist, will land a single frag in a competitive game.

TF2 – Demoman

DemomanOfficial Imperial Power Rankings™:

OPERATOR Rating: star_onstar_onstar_onstar_onstar_off

Skill Rating: star_onstar_onstar_onstar_onstar_on

Frag rating: star_onstar_onstar_onstar_onstar_on

Sanic Rating: star_onstar_onstar_onstar_offstar_off

Detailed Results:

The Demoman (Imperialish: Demo, Demonigger, Ra’s al-Ghul, رأس الغول, Jack Sparrow,‎ or Arab) is one of the nine playable classes in Team Fortress 2. An expert in explosives (and apparently medieval weaponry as of late), the Demoman is absolutely the most powerful class in the game. His Stickybomb Launcher alone is able to put out more damage than two Soldiers combined. The Demoman can also use his stickybombs to stickyjump, launching him extremely far and attaining many sanics (sanic) in exchange for a large health investment, though these temporary sanics are few and far in between.

The Demoman’s unlocks primarily focus around melee weapons and shields, being able to turn the damage powerhouse into a pathetic melee-only doppelgänger. The effectiveness of this playstyle pales in comparison with the explosives-oriented Demoman, but it is significantly easier to play, and most classes can’t do anything to prevent a Demo charging at them from killing them.

TF2 – Pyro

PyroOfficial Imperial Power Rankings™:

OPERATOR Rating: star_onstar_offstar_offstar_offstar_off

Skill Rating: star_onstar_offstar_offstar_offstar_off

Frag rating: star_onstar_onstar_offstar_offstar_off

Sanic Rating: star_onstar_offstar_offstar_offstar_off

Detailed Results:

The Pyro (Imperialish: Peero, Fireman, or Mexican) is one of the nine playable classes in Team Fortress 2. The role of the Pyro, originally supposed to be that of an ambushing, close-quarters specialist, is a gray area. His (or her) speed makes him (or her) easy prey for Scouts, and his (or her) lack of instant mobility creates an easy target for every other class not within breathing distance of the Pyro. This, combined with his (or her) ineffective weapons, make the Pyro arguably the worst-designed class in Team Fortress 2. His (or her) unlocks range from being straight upgrades, to degrading him (or her) to the role of the Engineer’s bitch.

In one-on-one situations, the Pyro is king (or queen). His (or her) tools allow him (or her) to heckle and neuter the opposition, and eventually get close enough to kill them. However, these situations are rare and far in between in a team-oriented game. Some Imperials have invested many hours into researching the Pyro and shaping him (or her) into a proper killing machine. Though the success of these programs should not be understated, the bottom line is that making the Pyro “work” requires a large amount of effort and luck compared to other classes. As such, the Pyro will always be at the bottom of an OPERATOR‘s “most played” list. The research did, however, find that players killed by the Pyro tend to feel cheated, perhaps due to the fact that the Pyro is so close to you and that they’ve never seen a Pyro so OPERATOR. Because of this, sodium levels on the enemy team spikes quickly and leads to much anger.

It should be noted that the Pyro is not disliked because of his tendency to obtain easy frags on Imperials, as this rarely occurs. The disgust stems from the loud, mouth-breathing morons that play this and only this class.

TF2 – Soldier

Soldiertaunt1Official Imperial Power Rankings™:

OPERATOR Rating: star_onstar_onstar_onstar_onstar_on

Skill Rating: star_onstar_onstar_onstar_onstar_off

Frag rating: star_onstar_onstar_onstar_onstar_on

Sanic Rating: star_onstar_onstar_onstar_onstar_off

Detailed Results:

The Soldier (Imperialish: Solcier [soul-sear], originating from an early font bug) is one of the nine playable classes in Team Fortress 2. Wielding an explosive Rocket Launcher as his primary weapon, the Soldier is the core offensive and defensive force in a well-balanced team. The Soldier is often one of the highest fragging players in a match, and his weapons reward consistency and movement. His ability to rocket jump makes him able to attain ridiculous levels of sanics (sanic), especially when combined with the Gunboats. Due to the Soldier’s high skill-ceiling, frag count, and antic potential, the Soldier is ranked as one of the Imperial favourites in Team Fortress 2.

TF2 – Scout

ScoutOfficial Imperial Power Rankings™:

OPERATOR Rating: star_onstar_onstar_onstar_onstar_on

Skill Rating: star_onstar_onstar_onstar_onstar_on

Frag rating: star_onstar_onstar_onstar_onstar_on

Sanic Rating: star_onstar_onstar_onstar_onstar_on

Detailed Results:

The Scout (Imperialish: Scoot, or Kenyan) is one of the nine playable classes in Team Fortress 2. An Imperial favourite, the Scout is arguably the most balanced and fun class in the game. Being the fastest class in the game and being able to double jump (even triple or quadruple jump with certain loadouts), the Scout is uniquely able to achieve the most sanics (sanic) and the most frags in a match. Due to the fact that the Scattergun and Pistol are such lethal weapons, and the fact that the Scout’s mobility makes him extremely maneuverable in a momentum-based game like TF2, the Scout is considered by many Imperials and top Team Fortress 2 players to be the only class in the game which can be considered borderline overpowered in the hands of a good player.